…damn straight I’m going to Narnia! Where is that bleedin wardrobe?!

…yes the reality of reading the surgeon’s letter to my doctor, plus the radiologist and pathology report…I’m a sponge for knowledge…the details were not lost on me…

…I had a wobble (as in tears flowing briefly…likely too briefly in hindsight)…reading the second to last sentence in the surgeon’s letter.

Sure it’s stage 0 which is fantastic…the DCIT grade is intermediate…it’s local…but extensive…they don’t actually know how extensive…

I’m scared…awoke after 2 hrs sleep the anxiety in my throat…surprisingly I did fall back to sleep after 1/2 hr.

Awoke again 3 hrs later thinking “what a weird dream!”…the detail of which has “went”…again back to sleep of sorts…restless…

Today I have struggled…just want to know when I am seeing the surgeon and the surgery date. Sure it’s the Universe working for me on the one hand…the moobs will come off & on public…the cancer scares me…fuck I still have very clear memories of Mum & Dad coming home from the hospital where my brother was (he was 14, in 1974 ), I was with older siblings watching MASH. My memory is I asked about my brother…Dad says in a “flat” tone “His leg is going to be amputated”, I ask what that means (I’m 7 yrs old). Dads says “cut off” and I run from the room to mine. How vivid the memories remain…so yeah I’m scared…

Where’s Narnia…