I wrote this in 12th August 2013…

“Hey gidday, call me Pete
“As in “Peta”” they ask?
Or just look…like I am mad
Few accepted…like you’re a girl
Outside sure…not in my mind
Even then I was quick to say
“It’s just a name; not like I’m trans…”
Too scared to accept that myself
…but the knowing feeling builds
It “fits”…I have always been…a Boi
Not in that stereotypical “butch” way
…earliest memory is around 4…
I named myself “Peter”…in my imaginary games
…and of course I was always the “boi” in those
“games” we played…it felt “normal”…
But conventions…catholic guilt…and
just being simply scared…kept “Pete”
Hidden away…
36 I was when I came out as “lesbian”
After all, I love women…times had changed
Being gay seemingly more acceptable…but
Something missing…in my psyche…
Takes being torn down…rebuilding oneself
Past two years…much self discovery…personnel growth
…acceptance…and finally remembering…Pete
I’m still scared…but ready.

What’s in a name?
My life, my being…honesty with self
Stealing that cliche…a rebirth at 46…
“Be true to thine self”
The time has come to live those words.”